Your job is a trap!

Case Study 1

I met this witty young man when I was doing a survey on happiness in the mall. He works as a project engineer in an engineering firm. I called him once on his birthday and he said he wants to do something else in life and he signed up for the Be At Your Best program. After the 2 days start of the Be At Your Best program he was very excited and motivated to listen to his heart and work on doing something different. However, when he is back at the work he is sucked back into the busy working lifestyle and forgets about working on the things his heart wants. He tries his best to come for the follow up workshops and talks but many times can’t make it because of conference calls, late meetings, deadlines and other work related demands.

Me in action in the Be At Your Best 2 days

Case Study 2

She hates her job … yes really and just wants to take a break. She was fascinated with my lifestyle and my ability to follow my heart, leave my corporate job and now do what I love doing. The time and money freedom I have. The time with my children especially, the time for myself,  the happier me attracted her to do the Be At Your Best program. After the 2 days start of the Be At Your Best program she was very excited and motivated to listen to her heart and work on balancing her life, her happiness and do something she loves.  She came for that week’s talk, bringing her daughter.  But after that, the demands of her job set in and she could not make it for the weekday talks nor the weekend follow-ups. At first she tried her best to come, but later, in time it was no longer a priority and soon she forgot about it. She heads the operations of a private hospital. Work stress often gets to her to the point that she falls ill, suffers from back and neck pain, gastritis and headaches. Once in awhile when I call her she will remember the part of doing something different but by now the fear of stepping out of a well paying , monthly paying job, scares her. The perceived security of her current job supersedes the adverse impact on her happiness and health.

They are not unique in this, many of the participants of the Be At Your Best program get excited after the 2 days but get sucked into their environment after that. Their old habit patterns and fear overshadows their heart and intellect.

So you see, your job is a trap! Really it is. Your job becomes the center of your life … more important than family and friends .. your health and happiness! Very so often you get a glimpse of awareness that this is not what you want … but your job will suck you into the busyness, deadlines, meetings … that becomes a priority over your happiness and health … over what your HEART wants.

You see, your heart has the blueprint of your life. Really, even Steve Jobs said it in his Stanford College Graduation Speech. Your heart guides you through life to learn, grow, evolve and fulfil the purpose of your life. When you listen to your heart it gets stronger. When you don’t, well it gets weaker and over time you can’t hear it anymore. You just get lost in the drama of life, mostly other people’s drama, get delusional and the first signs are in your loss of peace of mind, your happiness … later your health.

So … what happens on the flip side?

Case Study 3

Heerraa is an 18 year old singer, song writer, composer, musician and Founder & CEO of Cosmic Records.  Cosmic Records produces music videos, singles and corporate music videos. She follows her heart and does what she loves. She has not worked in a 9 to 5 job nor does she want to. Her hours are filled writing songs, recording and performing.  She is also the Creative Head in Ascendance, a dynamic team of youngsters sharing their success with their peers and supporting them in listening to their hearts, being creative and achieving their goals. Here she is either busy doing workshops and talking to peers or doing presentation in branding partner meetings. Something many adults would envy. Her focus is on her happiness, health and then the wealth her heart desires. Learning about herself and unleashing her potential.

Heerraa recording her music video

Heerraa on stage during one of her performance.

Case Study 4

Mathura is 21 this December. She loves accounting and for her internship she joined Simply Empowering, an ET Ideas Associate Company.  She went against the force and pressure to work in a big four or more established accounting firm. Here in Simply Empowering she is an associate who visits clients doing their accounts, learning not only the full experience of accounting but also people skills. She needs to think and come out with solutions. She has the flexibility of time and huge growth potential to take the business to a new level. In bigger firms you would be photocopying and following instructions, trust me, I know this coz I interned in PWC [one of the big accounting firms]. She is also Ascendance Team Leader. Here she sets the direction for her team, testing and stretching her leadership skills. She leverages their strengths to deliver results. She helps them manage their weakness and grow.  She is also busy doing workshops and talking to peers or doing presentation in branding partner meetings. Again, something many adults would envy. Her focus is on her happiness, health and then the wealth her heart desires. Learning about herself and unleashing her potential.

Mathura with her team, Ascendance.

Mathura managing the camera during Coffee with ET, a talk hosted by Ascendance.

I am just naming 2 examples. There are many other young ET Ideas Associates who have avoided the trap and set their course, their own rules, focused on their goals …. coming up with creative and unprecedented ways to achieve material goals. Hence, if you have not entered the trap then DON'T.  Follow your heart and live your life!

Then the next question is … if you are already in the trap but your heart yearns to do something else, then what do you do?

Case Study 5

Genkes was working in a company when the company did the Corporate Be At Your Best program.  He then realized that he wanted to do something different with his life but did not know what to do. He took the initiative to meet Elango weekly driving an hour to and another back. Then he realized his love for Chess and his passion in teaching children. He kept meeting Elango and exercised discipline in putting into practice the learning, transforming slowly from within and later growing his business outside. He constantly upgraded his skills in playing chess and started teaching a few students while doing his best in the company he worked in. The result is he got promoted into a leadership role in the company and won the bronze medal for Malaysia in the 2013 SEA Games in Myanmar.  He is also the Founder and CEO of Chess Master, conducting Chess Workshops in over 10 schools, teaching over 1000 students and creating a generation of thinkers. Now he is full time with Chess Master, focusing on his happiness, health, family, students, doing what he loves,  learning about himself and growing spiritually and intellectually. He is now guiding new and upcoming instructors for Chess Master. He is very successful and still understands the importance of being in the environment and is there with his family at ET Ideas Weekly meetings.

Genkes with his Chess Master team

Genkes during one of his Chess classes

So if you are in the trap, joining the Be At Your Best program is only the beginning. There is no magic pill. You need to prioritize your change … use willpower, put the lessons into practice and most importantly keep coming to the ET Ideas environment.

Case Study 6

Huoy Tyng was my ex colleague and when I wished her on her birthday, she told me she had quit her job and doesn’t know what to do next. She was unhappy in her job, had health problems due to stress and was emotionally down. So I asked her to come for ET Youth Talk, she did. Then she kept coming for all talks. She did the Be At Your Best program and was one of the most disciplined person to put it into practice. Her transformation was very quick and evident in her happiness and health. It was really heart-warming to see her grow. She is now a qualified personal trainer and does Inside-out Mind Body Solutions talks and workshop, a unique program she founded.

Huoy Tyng sharing her experiences with Ascendance On The Road participants 

If you want to get out of the trap by taking the plunge and quitting your job like Huoy Tyng and me then you must have enough savings to sustain you for at least 2-3 years coz change takes time, especially personal transformation and then building a business doing what your heart loves. Secondly, you must be persistent in being in the ET Ideas environment where people are working on their goals and listening to their hearts. Third, be disciplined on working on your goals and willing to work hard.

Option 2 would be like Genkes. Do your best at work, learn and grow. But be clear of your priority … your ultimate goals … make sure you are in the ET Ideas environment as much as possible …. come for all the talks, the follow-up workshops and be part of the other ET Ideas activities. Absorb the vibes. Slowly you will start listening to your heart and start working on your goals, starting with your happiness. Many Be At Your Best participants have become ET Ideas Associates this way … transiting slowly from working 9-5 to doing what they love … first in a small scale then in a scale beyond their imagination.

ET Ideas Associates catching the Star Wars premiere.

Am I Not Important Anymore?

At first there was me. Only me. Then came this little helpless human being whose very survival in this planet was entrusted to me. So fragile that I was afraid I would crush her if I hugged her too tight. My world started revolving around her. Feed her, shower her, clean her, get clothes, make sure we don’t run out of milk powder, baby food and the other 1001 things babies need. Worry about her safety , ensure she is well taken care of when I not with her and ensure I give her my best when I am with her. Then came another little helpless human being. The same things repeated over again but with less worry and stress, more efficient as now I have experience.

The Little Beings - Heerraa & Harsha

As I watch these 2 girls grow I experience joy and love for another human being like I never did before. They came before me. As hungry as I was I would make sure that they are not first. They looked good. Got the toys that they should have. Learned well from the best school. Watched the right TV programs. As tired as I was, I listened to their stories at night. Tiring yet awesomely fulfilling days. I was busy planning weekend to take them to meet Barbie or Teen Titans … how can I expose them to the fun out there coming out with the experience of a memorable childhood and have the zest for life.

Heerraa & Hasrha at Music Exams - The Young Teens

Pretty young ladies.

Time passed and they grew into young teenagers. The first signs started when they no longer wanted to follow me around on errands. The stories they shared with me was shorter and that I realized I was to be blamed as I was busier at work and spent less time with them resulting in me not really noticing the little changes growing teens face.  Realizing this I quickly made changes, talking to them more, spending quality time with them … slowly transiting my relationship from mother to friend. Here on life became even more awesome. It was living your teenage years again just without the insecurities. Sharing my deepest secrets, my mistakes in life, me being vulnerable, willing to listen to them, work on their ideas and at times learn from them … brought us to a different level  of intimacy … one that the closet of friends share.

Meet ET Ideas Family @ ET Ideas Awards Nite 2017

Meeting ET Ideas have enabled me and both my daughters to grow beyond my ability to imagine. We have become more aware of our thoughts, words and action more than ever before ….  our programming, the power of the subconscious mind and how to slowly reprogram it to our goals. We have learned how powerful our thoughts are and our ability to manifest our reality, … and still learning. Both my daughters got International School Scholarships within 6 months of setting the goal. There got a band together and started performing , then started writing songs and doing solo performances. Getting straight A stars in exams. They wrote a book which is now being edited.

Ascendance, me and Elango

Then they joined Ascendance. A team of young dynamic youngsters set out to share their experiences to their peers to make the world a happier and better world. They started meeting sponsors and started doing workshops at schools. They started meeting companies for branding partnership. I was very proud of them … they were achieving results way beyond their peers. This is when I started doing some really weird things.

I was getting annoyed with them with the little things they did … or rather the things they didn’t do … like pick up the laundry or clean the table and go ballistic on them. I started worrying about their safety although I knew they were in safe hands and started imposed curfew times. I started regulating their study times although they are doing exceptionally well in school. I started telling them what they should and should not do. Telling them how they should do their calls and their meetings and workshops because I knew better since I am experienced and doing it well. Well … you can say full mum mode activated!

They were treading gingerly around me afraid I would get upset, which seems to be happening a lot. Luckily for me I was wise enough to see this and quickly go to my mentor and ask him what is happening to me? He smiled and answered, ‘This is not about them. This is about you. You are just not feeling important anymore’.

I sat dumfounded while he explained. ‘You have done well. You have guided them well. Now they have grown wings and began to fly on their own. No longer needing the same amount of support as before. No longer needing the same amount of care as before. They know how to eat when they are hungry and where to find the food. They know how to find transport to get to where they want to go. They know how to present at meetings. They know how to do their workshops. How to listen to their hearts and make decisions related to their goals, like not wanting to go to college and continue working on their goals as they are now. You are just not feeling important anymore. You are just being … well in plain terms selfish … it’s not about them anymore, it has become about you.”

As much as my intellect understood what he said and agreed, my emotions could not comprehend it. I just stared at him blankly. It took me a few days to come to terms with it … to accept it. A few more days to digest it. Then I went to Elango again and asked him … “So, what do I do?”

He asked me “Do you want the best for them?” I replied “Yes, I do” Then he said, “First be truthful to them and to yourself … accept and acknowledge what you feel … and express it to them. The emotions will reduce over time. Second, don’t stand in their way … don’t box their ideas, don’t impose your ideas and beliefs on them … don’t let go your emotions on them … do SIEP, ask yourself, is it about them or you? Why are you feeling these emotions, what is nature teaching you?”

That was a bitter pill! Being vulnerable and truthful was really difficult. Difficult to let them see these selfish thoughts … this seemingly ‘not good’ side of me, afraid they will lose respect for me maybe even not love me anymore. But the truth has its power. It set me free. And it set them free. They saw is as my strength and their respect and love for me grew. They were grateful to me for owning up and being truthful.

The second one was even more difficult to do. To keep quiet. To not interfere especially when Elango is teaching them … to not interfere and defend them or not to warn them the mistakes they might make. It was extremely difficult for me to let them make mistakes. Elango explained how else are they going to learn? I learnt to let go. To let them be free, to be truly independent … to try and make mistakes and learn and grow … always reminding myself that we are fortunate to have Elango guide us, he will not let us fall … he is teaching.

2017 New Year Dinner  - Joyce & Rammya the other 2 pillars in their lives. 

Now, once again it’s about them. Our relationship has transformed to a higher level once again …  and they are smart kids, they know when to ask me for help when needed. They even know when to ask Elango and other ET Ideas Associates help and guidance when needed. I am truly proud of them and of myself and how we have grown … and they in turn are proud of me.

Heerraa, Harsha and me - working on Globetrotter Consultancy's client project

This happened a few months ago. Why am I writing this blog now? …. Because my heart asked me to write and the words flowed …  making sense of it, it maybe because many of my friends are in a similar juncture with their kids but may not be aware of what is happening to them … and even if they are aware, they don’t have Elango to guide them. Hope this sharing helps someone.

My best friends - my mum and my girls.

The surreal feeling when you achieve a goal

My first 'Be At Your Best' program on 27&28 Aug 2016

Last weekend was a milestone achievement of a goal I set 8 years ago. Well, it started as a whisper, more of an idea after I went for Asiaworks’ Basic awareness program in 2008. It was a mere idea that I wanted to be an awareness trainer, that would make my life more meaningful …. but it was only a passing idea.

It kept coming back at random moments but with no significant impact. Then I continued with Asiaworks’ Leadership Program … and LP 139’s vision was to create a 'Loving & Caring World, One Person at a Time. This time the idea turned into a goal … but I had no idea how I was even going to start.

I’ve set and achieved goals before. But this was different. This was out of norm. On hindsight I was beginning to follow my heart. The goal was not logical, even random and I had no clue where to start. You see, I was a successful Finance Director who had financial success with a happy, comfy lifestyle. Why throw it out for something so random? …. Oh and where to start?

But I set a goal … started thinking how do I do this? Then nature offered a stepping stone. The company I was working for was acquired by an American MNC and they offered me … me … a Regional HR Manager’s job … mmm… a stepping stone … and I took it up with no experience nor knowledge of professional HR. Oh boy it was a fun yet steep learning curve. Step 1 : People skills acquired.

Then 2 years later the heart came knocking again … leave, move … but where?  So I quit my job intending to setup a coaching company, again a vague idea with no real clue. After some discussion, the VP counter offered and I moved into a Organization Development role for Asia Pacific. Here was my first experience conducting in-house training in a fun and effective manner. Then I discovered the term 'Culture Shaping' … changing the culture of the organisation by bringing individuals back to the basics of being human. Step 2: training skills and culture shaping idea.

Fun and impactful practical session in the Be At Your Best program

Then again the heart comes .. leave, move … much stronger this time … and I quit my high paying corporate job for an idea of a culture shaping company. Then all hell broke loose and I was lost for 2 months …floating in limbo ... until a friend dragged me into a goal setting workshop on 29^th July 2013. That day I met my mentor Elango Thiyagu and since then it has been a roller-coaster ride of discovering myself and what culture shaping actually meant.

In the past three years I’ve talked to hundreds of people, feeding my subconscious mind. Learned marketing from ground zero ; from meeting officers to CEOs. Meanwhile, getting aligned to the laws of nature, reprogramming myself to my new goals, learning how to manage my emotions and thoughts. Doing one day programs then rebranding and introducing the Be At Your Best program to help people live happier lives, setting and achieving personal and company goals while growing personally. My personal growth has been phenomenal and I’ve reached a different level of happiness.

'Be At Your Best' Day 1 on 27 Aug 2016

Last weekend was a milestone achievement because I arrived at my goal. I did a 2 days awareness program successfully. It made me reflect on how when you listen to your heart and set your mind to it, the whole of nature guides and helps you. On hindsight, nature guided step by step in getting the skills. Then I met my mentor, who passed on the program to me, a program much better than I have ever experienced and could have ever conceived … for free … he guided me step by step, building both myself and the program along the way. I feel blessed! To top that I have an awesome support team, volunteering their time and effort for free  ...  giving their best! Again I feel blessed!

Dinner with my awesome support team after the Be At Your Best Program

There is a long exciting way to go but I have arrived at a destination I set 8 years ago. Milestone achievement!

Nero was playing the fiddle when Rome was burning down

Nero fiddling while Rome burns

According to a well-known expression, Rome’s emperor at the time, Nero “fiddled while Rome burned.” The expression means Nero was busy playing music oblivious to the fact that his empire was in trouble and collapsing and his people suffering. Many would think how stupid of him!! The sad irony is I see people all around me doing this now.  

I speak to many people about the program I do … Be At Your Best …  how it widens their awareness which results in changes from within … they become happier, healthier and live their dream doing what they love having the time and money freedom … they find the bigger purpose of their existence and get aligned to nature’s plan for them. Their relationships improve … especially with their children. They understand their children better, understand their purpose here and their role in supporting their children. They become the intended role model for their child and built a truthful lasting relationship while being successful and guiding their children to success. I am living this so I know it is possible. When I share this to others, for the brief 10 minutes they are in my world … beautiful and living their dream.

When the program 'Be At Your Best'

knocks on your door, that's the right time!

Then I hang up and they resume their mundane life … the brief moment of bliss and awareness gone. Back to running around busy like a headless chicken but with no actual results. Busy at work, from one meeting to another, feeling very important but not achieving anything really important. Meanwhile, their emotions are pent up, bursting here and there, reacting to situations and people without being aware that they are doing it. In the process they destroy their health, the relationships around them and their own peace of mind. But yet they continue …. complaining yet they continue .. when I offer them solutions or ask them to join the program or the free talks we have they will counter with all kind of excuses … busy, need to work, sending my child to tuition, cousin’s wedding etc etc … it's as if they are doing it for me! It’s like peace of mind, happiness, health, success, time and money freedom is a nice notion … nice to have but not possible for them  … not their priority at the moment either.

Why are they like Nero? You see, while they are busy accumulating wealth for their family they are indeed neglecting their family. The pent up emotions, outburst and growing negativity is programed into their children. The wrong words and tone used, thinking that you are disciplining the child may in fact box him up and make him an obedient follower. This same parent, years later wonders why the child has no leadership qualities not aware that the parent has indeed programmed the child to be a follower. This is just one minute example of the many things we say and do that our child absorbs and learn from.

Then comes the relationship with the spouse and other family members … not being truthful, slowly but surely turns the sweetness to finding fault … creating a rift …  creating unspoken boundaries until the couple no longer have much in common … not to mention conversations … once the cracks start it is only a matter of time before the dam collapses.

Back to the workplace, being a very important and diligent employee, working late, chasing promotions, bonuses and increment … then getting disappointed, chasing deadlines and more deadlines, feeling so important in their role, so very involved in the events and politics of the company they work in that they forget a world outside that exist. Sacrificing time, family, health, happiness and growth only to find out years later that they have not come much far after all.  Most can’t manage their finances well so they just tie themselves up further into debts making sure they need to continue in the rat race. Happiness, health, family and dreams sacrificed. Not to mention a whole human existence wasted without spiritual growth … not religious practices but learning about yourself, connecting to your heart and listening to your heart, experiencing joy!

Over the years I have watched many of my participants initially excited with the possibilities for them but prioritising the daily seemingly pressing issues of life over long term happiness and success. They want success but not willing to change their current habit patterns, not investing time and effort only soon to give up on the notion of the success and returning to life as usual. Life as usual which is spiraling downwards but they are not aware.

Overused ... but what does it really mean?

I can see what is in store for them as they continue their path … that’s the curse of growing awareness. I was once in ignorant bliss too so I understand that from their level of awareness that they can’t see outside the bowl.

People are like fishes caught in their world

Oh yes … and there are others who know that they need help and ask God for help … I know this because they must have attracted my call and experience have showed me that the program finds people at the right time… but I don’t match their idea of how the help should be or whom it comes from so they can’t see the help offered and decline it saying they will talk to me when they are okay again. The point they forget is, if all is well then they don’t need me or the program.

At times it frustrates me and makes me feel maybe I should have tried harder. My biggest learning now is that I am not here to save the world … and I can’t save them all. I’m here only to work with people who are willing to change, grow and make happiness and success an absolute priority… I do my best but I am not doing any of this for them … I am doing it because my heart wants to … because I grow everyday in leaps and bounds as I learn to follow my heart.

As much as the world out there is lost in darkness, there is a small group of people round me …. which is fast growing in awareness and momentum …seeing them grow spiritually and materially …  attracting more people to their cause …. well, that gives me hope.

ET Ideas - a group of people focused on their personal and material growth.

Letting Go

Me being interviewed live on BFM - July 2016

It has been awesome, these past few weeks. I’ve had break through ideas in packaging and marketing my training programs. I have started doing the programs and discovering still the interesting ways I could deliver the message. I have seen some of the participants from the program grow personally and professionally. My personal growth, well what can I say, it has been hitting new highs constantly. 

Me at a Corporate Be At Your Best Workshop July 2016- trying something new

This is something I have learned about myself and learning to manage. Yes, I have letting go issues. You see, the past weeks the youngsters around me have shown astounding growth in confidence, in working towards their goals and personally as individuals. The Ascendance Team has been amazing in setting appointments, doing presentations and enrolling people to support their cause, much faster than I have done. ET Boost launched their test run and the Gen Y and Gen Z, I work with, were all excited and fired up coming up with interesting and creative segments.

Ascendance after their presentation at Rotary Meeting - July 2016

As I watched this, as much as I was feeling very proud of them, I was beginning to feel left out. I was beginning to feel not important and not needed anymore. At first I didn’t realize it, it slowly started creeping in until suddenly I was upset and crying and wondering why because it didn’t make sense even to me.

So, I took the case to Elango, my mentor who immediately diagnosed it as ‘Ah, you have letting go issue’. What? Me? I’ve thought of myself as someone who is ready to let go … let go of my responsibilities and waiting to hand over the baton to the younger generation. So, this was quite a shock for me. He explained this is how Gen X is … they want the younger generation to do well but not better than them. That words stung, I pondered …mmm.. maybe there is some truth there. I was discovering a little bit more about myself.

Then I asked, “so what do I do about it?” Elango replied, “firstly be aware and accept this part of you. Then remind yourself it is not about you but the younger generation. They are the future. It is not about you. Let them shine in their moment of glory. You are here to empower them. Empowerment means to guide them but let them do it their way and learn and grow along the way.”

Heerraa performing at a birthday party - July 2016

I nodded. I understood… but just because my intellect was okay with it, it didn’t mean my emotions were on board yet. It took a while more for the emotions to catch up. For a mother or a parent who have spent the last umpteen years nurturing, protecting and teaching this child, the sudden turn in roles can be nerve and emotions wrecking.  With understanding of what is happening to yourself , in time, you can choose your emotions and reactions. Letting go is a process. Be it letting go of your child, your importance, your lead role, your decision making prerogative, the limelight or just merely being informed of things and events.

Starting with awareness, then understanding of yourself and the other person, in the process of letting go will lead to a sense of fulfilment and freedom once you learnt to accept and manage yourself… I guess that is true growth … true maturity!

It also reminds me of the Law of Balance. My role as a mother and leader is created and preserved as long as needed and then this old role is destroyed and a new role as friend and guide is created. Nice once you accept and understand it.

Me and Heerraa at her graduation - June 2016

My Siam Reap Holiday - Man vs Nature

This is my second holiday to Siam Reap. My first trip was 9 years ago. I remember how the Angkor Wat fascinated me. I spent hours admiring the sculptures on the walls. The Apsaras especially fascinated me. The grandeur of the ancient kingdom fascinated me. Expecting the same experience this time around I went with Elango, Rammya, Heerraa and Harsha.

I was in for a surprise. I was feeling very disturbed when I entered the Bayon temple, so disturbed that I felt dizzy and did not proceed to go in to admire the sculptures on the walls. I sat down with Elango at the exit while the three of them toured the temple. Puzzled, I asked Elango why I was feeling so disturbed? He asked me what was the feeling that was disturbing me? Still puzzled, I answered, I feel like many people have been forced to live here and do things that they didn't want to do. It's like being held against your will. Being held captive as slaves and entertainers for the king.

Elango then asked me, 'how do you think the kings of the ancient times built this temple?' I answered, 'by forced labour … Invaded the place, captured the locals and held them captive against their wills….. Forced labour …. Slaves.' He then asked again, 'why did the Kings do that? Why did they build such great structures, sacrificing people's lives? think …. mmmm …. It was to show their power … How great they were … Feeding their ego … Under the delusion that their Empire would be there forever. That they would be remembered forever for their greatness…. and that it is was their right to force the locals to build the structures in memory of them. They were taken in by the need to accumulate and build things.

Then Elango asked me to think how this relates to modern day life, my work and me…. mmmm … He explained, I want to do Culture Shaping …however, change is only for those who want it and welcome it. Not for all. For some, they are comfortable with their way of life even if they are complaining about it. Culture shaping is only possible by changing people's habit patterns … Getting them to follow Natures Laws, Give First, Give without expectations, be truthful, do SIEP and stop reacting to their senses, share instead of competiting, look for solutions … all this is only for those who want it … More importantly all these is possible only if I practise it in my life first. People will do what I do, not what I ask them to do. My vibes will attract people who are looking for the change and want to put the change into practice. I nodded.

Then I told Elango about my earlier experience in visiting Angkor Wat and how it had fascinated me and asked him why it was different now. He answered, 'At that time you were PEIS … i.e. your physical senses saw the sculptures and ancient temples, listened to the greatness of the ancient kingdom and your emotions got fascinated. Your intellect amazed at how great the ancient kingdom was. Now, you are less PEIS so you begin to see the stupidity of the whole thing. You began to feel uncomfortable with the forced labour used to build the temple. You began to see that the Kings were PEIS … taken in by their senses and swayed by their emotions … driving the need to accumulate ...to build … to inflate their ego … using others to get what they want .. thinking their power and kingdom will last forever … thinking they will be remembered for their greatness … This will only make them fall harder and deeper down … Then they will have to climb up again'. I nodded, deep in thought. I was amazed at how much I have grown in the past two years.

I also noticed something interesting … the different responses of the Generations. The Gen Y in the group was troubled but they didn't know why. The 'corrupted' Gen Y was fascinated by the architecture just like the Gen X yet they were alternating between thinking it was a waste of resources. Gen Y was troubled and not impressed by the grandeur. Interestingly Gen Z was clear, not emotional but objectively thinking how not to repeat this stupidity  … Not build structures but live with nature, creatively!

Next we went to Ta Prohm Temple (or better known as the place where Angelina Jolie shot the Tomb Raider scene). The tree roots were engulfing the temple roof and walls … Nature was literally reclaiming its place. The ancient majestic temple was slowly but surely being turned into dust and dirt. I stood there gaping at the monstrous roots fascinated by the power of the trees, witnessing a tiny bit of nature winning in the end, witnessing the fallacy of man, thinking he can build something that can last forever, thinking that he can be immortal through the legacy he leaves. This reminded me of the current generation of baby boomers and Gen X who accumulate power, money and fame, building legacies to leave behind, thinking that they will be remembered, only to have it crumble to natures forces in no time.

Later in the day when I visited the Angkor Wat, I noticed I no longer was fascinated with it. Instead I was thinking what a waste all these was. I was thinking how blessed I am to have grown from being fascinated by the architecture of man to be fascinated by the forces of nature.

Train the Trainer

I was doing a follow-up workshop today when I saw my facebook memory share alert … exactly  a year ago, my mentor and teacher Elango Thiyagu did the first company follow-up workshop with the intention of teaching me how to do it. And here I am, for the first time truly doing the follow-up workshop on my own. A proud moment for me indeed. I have come a long way.

Be At Your Best follow-up workshop for PPG Coatings on 18 March 2015

This isn’t the first follow-up workshop I have done on my own though. The first time was a couple of months ago when Elango suddenly told me he needs to watch the markets because of the currency volatility and I had to do the follow-up workshop the next day. My mind went like ‘oh…. Noooo’ but I heart said ‘okay’, so I did it. It was an awesome learning experience. I would term it as a success. Hey I can do this.

Then there was this other time, the night before the workshop he got sick, fever and shiver and all when he asks me .. “tomorrow’s workshops you do ah?” and I reluctantly nodded. Then scramble and prepare and do the follow-up workshop. Another awesome learning experience! Another success! After that I got smarter and volunteered to do most of the company follow-up workshops. All different experiences … yet successful in delivering the intended message. Getting better with each workshop.  All in all I’ve done 7 workshops to-date. Today was two continuous  8^th and 9^th workshops. So why was today different? Why am I saying for the first time truly doing the follow-up workshop?

Today I was doing the workshop without any disturbance from my senses with my mind firmly focused on my end goals. No battle with myself. I was having fun. My newly programmed subconscious mind was sharing experiences from a few years ago, from a few weeks ago, borrowed experiences, personal experiences, work experiences, experiences of doing my best, experiences of practicing SIEP and so on … it was on a roll, going with the flow … and I was having fun … picking the correct amount of information and examples the participants needed to understand the concepts and put it into practice…. high energy from within, irrespective of what the participants did or said.

Be At Your Best follow-up workshop for Secure Guards on 18 March 2016.

Today I understood why Elango said I need to practice SIEP, giving my best without expectations, give first, be truthful, thoughts, words, actions aligned, do the relaxation exercise, have end goals, focus on solutions, respect and work with the laws of nature … basically practice all these first to a certain extend before I can do the classes.  [for people who have no clue about the jargon I am using , well come for our next Be At Your Best program to find ou] For the first time I see how Elango has been training me over the past two and half years to do the training program.

You see, when I told him I wanted to do the program more than 2 years ago he answered, “Okay. I’ll teach you. Are you willing to learn?” Confident was my reply ‘Yes’. Then for the next few weeks we had weekly meetings talking about everything except the  program. We talked mostly about myself. I did wonder  when was he going to talk about the program. I was expecting him to tell me the layout, training module , training plan etc. Every time I brought the subject of the program up he will avoid it. I was a bit confused on how was this teaching me how to do the workshops but I trusted my teacher and went along.

Then one day he said I need to meet as many people as possible so that my subconscious mind can learn. Mmmm… how was I going to do that? He suggested that I do a 1 day program. I thought it was a good idea too and came up with a one day program on goal setting. Then came the difficult part, how do I get participants for the 1 day program? I needed to do marketing but had no clue where or how to start!

Getting a bit desperate now, I talked to a wise young girl about this and she asked why should they come? They need to see the need for it first. Mmmm… so I thought I’ll design a questionnaire and go survey people in the malls. There started my mall walks! I remember on my first day, I had lunch with my mentor. The experience of the mall survey was overwhelming I just sat there and cried and cried. He passed me his handkerchief, bought me lunch, listened to my experiences and realizations about myself and told me he was proud of me.  Then at 2 pm he asked me to go back to doing the surveys. I stared at him in shock but got up and went back to doing the surveys.

I started surveying random strangers in malls for a few months, with a lot of resistance and non-consistency in the beginning until later it turned into a daily activity which I started enjoying. I started enjoying having conversations with random strangers. Everyone was a reflection of myself and with the help of my mentor I started getting to know myself better. I did over 100 surveys. Then came the second part, calling them up and signing participants up for the 1 day program. Again, a learning curve of falling sick when I make calls to enjoying talking to people on the phone. Then I did my first 1 day program, then the second, then the third and fourth.

1:1 meeting with my mentor during ET Ideas Tuesday meetings.

Then one day during ET Ideas Tuesday meetings [www.ET-Ideas.com], Elango was telling someone that he will teach him to do his program in his country in Sudan. You should have seen my face. I went ballistic! I confronted Elango on why he has not taught me on how to do the program yet. He laughed and replied he has been teaching me all along and testing to see if I really wanted to do the program. I replied ‘Yess!!’ to which he said okay let’s schedule a date, you get the participants and I’ll do the program which you can video record and learn. However, only today did it fully dawn on me that in our many meetings, the surveys, the phone calls, doing my 1 day program and working with the ET Ideas team in other projects he was actually teaching me how to do the ‘Be At Your Best’ program [www.globetrotterconsultancy.com.my]. He was teaching by getting me to correct my habit patterns, do SIEP and manage my emotions, give first , do my best, repeat my goals, learn how to do marketing, have end goals and numerous invaluable lessons regarding my subconscious mind, listening to my heart and achieving success which I will come to share to my participants when I started doing the ‘Be At Your Best’ program.

Be At Your Best Public Program - 2014, 2015 & 2016

We did the first ‘Be At Your Best’ public program in October 2014. In 2015, we did the second public program and 3 Corporate Programs. In Q1 016, we did the third public program and another Corporate Program. Gradually I have started doing the follow-up workshops as mentioned earlier. So why was today’s workshop truly successful?

To an extend it was because in the past two weeks I have actually started doing SIEP correctly and responding to situations and people instead of reacting to what my senses picked up. I was actually thinking and responding. It was slowly becoming a habit pattern. Hence, when I was doing the workshop today, I was not reacting to what my sense saw or heard. Eg. it didn’t bother me that some of them looked sleepy, some were on their phones, some were busy talking among themselves. My mind was so firmly focused on my end goal of delivering what the participants need and getting them to understand how to put it into practice that what my senses saw didn’t bother me. I didn’t have to use willpower to focus. It came naturally. Gradually, my participants engaged and I achieved my end goal, effortless while having fun. This, I could do only because who I have become. Today I fully understood how Elango has been teaching me and preparing me from day 1 to do this workshop. I understand why if I don’t live it I will not be able to conduct the program.

I have a long way to go but now I feel the extent to which I have grown in a short period of 2 years and I am grateful and thankful to Elango for guiding me patiently and not giving up on me. I am also thankful to nature for bringing me to Elango and the ET Ideas team. I would not have seen the bigger picture of life, my purpose of life if not for them..... and having so much fun too!

Outing with the ET Ideas team.